


On the Sexual Nature of Gardening and a Well-Baked Dessert

by meditationsinemergencies



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, F/M, Gardening, Oral Sex, Sort of Food Play?, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:48:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24644347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meditationsinemergencies/pseuds/meditationsinemergencies
Summary: Severus Snape loves gardening; Nymphadora Tonks loves chatting up her older, grumpy neighbour.
Relationships: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks
Comments: 16
Kudos: 49





	On the Sexual Nature of Gardening and a Well-Baked Dessert

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me after I saw a very limp looking zucchini in our garden. 
> 
> Many thanks to [adavison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adavison/profile) for being my wonderful beta. 
> 
> Also, you can find me on Tumblr, too! I'm meditationsinemergencies.

Gardening had become Severus Snape's favourite thing. He loved everything about it, and he took great pride in what he cultivated. He'd taken to composting in order to create the perfect soil—it was dark and nutrient-rich from coffee grounds and compostable filters, eggshells, and just about anything else one could compost. He was, by nature, an organised man, and his gardening was no different. The entirety of his yard was sketched out in notebooks, each plant having its own entry. 

While he enjoyed taking care of the rest of the plants in his yard, his favourites were those that produced fruits and vegetables. Part of what he enjoyed so much was that his garden was his and his alone. From September-June he was simply a cog in the machine that was the ivory tower; he was a professor of chemistry at a University, and while he usually taught over the summer, this year was different. He'd decided to take a break, a very short sabbatical of sorts. During this time he decided he was going to spend as much time as possible on his back porch and working in his yard and garden.

He thoroughly enjoyed the beginning of his summer vacation. His plants were thriving. His yard was quiet. He was relaxed. Then, however, the empty home next to his was no longer empty and his yard was no longer quiet. 

—

Nymphadora Tonks has finally decided that she was done living with other people. She has been renting out an apartment in the attic of her cousin and his husband's home. While Sirius and Remus were caring and loving and never once made her feel like she was imposing, she felt that she needed a place to call hers. She'd been working as a detective for three years now, and she felt secure enough to get out on her own. When she found the little home, she was enamoured with it, specifically the back porch and the backyard. She worked long hours, and she knew that this porch was the exact type of space she needed to unwind. 

—

For a while, Severus didn't once see his new neighbour, which he was grateful for. He didn't care to socialize; he wasn't interested in chatting with anyone over tea in the yard or sharing casseroles or whatever ridiculous nonsense neighbours did. 

During one evening on his porch, he heard a soft hum of music. Peering over to the yard next to his, he saw strings of lights glowing and a young woman lying on a glider. He assumed it to be her music playing. It was his natural instinct to be annoyed with this disturbance to his normal peace and quiet, and so he was, in fact, annoyed, but not as much as he was going to be. 

His new neighbour would become completely and utterly intolerable to him began on a Saturday morning. 

The houses in the area they lived in were small and old, and the yards were large. There were, however, no real fences. The person who'd owned the house before Severus had put up a simple white fence that's purpose was to essentially just draw a line. He used the fence as a tool to train grapevines, and he was inspecting the leaves on them when he noticed his neighbour in her yard, as well. She was wearing what looked like biking shorts, they came to midthigh and clung tightly to her form, along with a baggy t-shirt. Severus noted her, but he did nothing more until he heard her speak. 

“Wotcher, neighbour!” Her voice was crispy and buoyant, her words seemed to bounce in the air towards his ears. 

He looked up, his eyebrows raised and said, “Hello.” 

“You’ve got quite the garden here, don’t you? I’m a black thumb myself.” She held up both her hands and did a thumbs up with a wide, almost goofily pretty grin. She continued on, “Even before I was working all the time I couldn’t keep a plant alive for anything, which is unfortunate as I quite enjoy the greenery, and I am very jealous of your yard in particular. How’d you do it?” 

“Learned over time.” He bent his head back down and picked a bug off of a leaf. He then stood up and strolled over to his garden, hoping she’d go away. She did not. 

“Are you retired? I’ve noticed you’re always out here. You don’t seem to go anywhere in the morning, either.” 

“Do you pay close attention to all your neighbours’ schedules? Or are you just rudely nosey?” 

She smiled, unphased by his cool demeanour and obvious annoyance. “Oh. No. I meant nothing by it. I’m in law enforcement; I’m a detective. It’s sort of, you know, natural for me to be, as you put it, nosey. I’d say observant, but whichever works.”

“I’m a professor. I’m on a short sabbatical if you must know.” 

“Oh! What do you teach?” She leaned against his fence, one of her thighs pressing against a vine.

“Would you move off of the vine?” He motioned to where she was against this fence, his face wearing a sign of annoyance.

“Whoops! Silly me. See? I have no clue how to treat a plant. So, what do you teach?” 

“Chemistry. Have a good day.” He nodded crisply and turned walking onto his back porch and into the house.

Tonks chuckled to herself. She hadn’t even gotten his name, but she knew what her fun new hobby would be: Chatting up her neighbour while he cared for his garden. 

—

In the mornings on the weekend and sometimes during the evening, if she was home for work on time, she’d go outside, spot her neighbour and talk to him. 

So far, she’d learned several things: His name was Severus. He was ten years older than her. He loved his garden. He found her annoying. 

The most significant thing learned, however, was about herself: She liked him, and she wanted to get to know him better; there was no real reason as to why she just did. There was the way he stalked about his yard, the way he examined his plants, the way he tenderly took fruit and vegetables off of his garden, the way he spoke in such a chopped and precise manner. Once she knew his name, she Googled him and found his RateMyProfessor score; he was, as she suspected, a great teacher but not warm, not loving, not one you’d go hang out with after class in his office and talk shop. Tonks found that she wanted to _know_ him, to figure out what enticed him. She already knew she annoyed him because he was the type of person who preferred to be alone, but that wasn’t enough—she wanted to know how to get under his skin; she wanted to know what made him tick. 

She figured it out, but it was by accident. One evening, he was examining his summer squash. One plant was having a hard time producing it seemed. He clucked his tongue a lot while looking at it. She noted that one of the squash looked an awful lot like a flaccid penis. She laughed to herself. Severus was a curious man and couldn’t help but inquire, “What’s so funny?”

She shrugged, still laughing, her cheeks a slight pink from the heat, he supposed. 

She leaned forward, careful not to press against his vines, “That one?” She pointed, “That one looks like a limp cock. Maybe you should fertilize with some Viagra, eh?” She laughed again. 

Severus stared at her horrified. _Had she just used the phrase “limp cock” in front of him?_ Watching her laugh, he felt his stomach twist into a small knot, her shoulders shook with her laughter and he noticed freckles splattered across her chest and collar bones. She ran her fingers through her shoulder-length pink hair and said, “Don’t you think so? Or is it just me?”

He shrugged to himself, unsure. He then examined his plants, gesturing towards them, an expression of disappointment on his face he said, “I’m not sure which one you’re referring to. A lot of them look like limp cocks. This plant won't produce anything with proper girth. This one, however," he gestured to another plant, "does. Absolutely massive." 

This elicited a larger, more buoyant laugh from her. And he found that he quite liked that he was the cause of it. What he didn’t like were the stupid thoughts he found himself having while standing out here now, he’d almost, for a second, thought of asking her over for something to drink, but stopped himself. 

There was a soft chime that came from her back pocket. She pulled over her phone and furrowed her brow, “Ack. Work. Have a good night, Severus. See you around.” 

Watching her go into her home, he was struck, for the first time, with a sense of sadness that their conversation had been cut short. 

As Tonks dressed to head back into the office, she thought of how he’d responded to her crass humour. She smiled to herself and realized that this...this was the way to open him up. 

—

It had been a few days until he saw his neighbour again. He found himself lingering by his garden a bit longer than usual, waiting to see if she'd arrive. He sat on the steps to his porch eating a slice of watermelon he'd just taken from his garden. He saw her pink hair first, pop around the fence. She waved and smiled broadly. She then did something that horrified and excited him, she walked into his yard. "Did you grow that watermelon?”

He nodded, taking another bite, grabbing a slice and handing it to her. She took it from him. "Great God! This is so flavourful! I'm not usually into melons but this is something else."

"It is. Isn't it?" He then took a large bite of the watermelon; its sweet juices dripped down his chin. With the back of his hand, he wiped the juice away and Tonks stared at him. She kept quiet and took another bite of her slice, but then he did it again. She began to wonder if this was intentional on his part, if he was putting on a show. There was a soft crisp crunch as his teeth sunk into the melon. Severus sucked the juices into his mouth, the sticky sweetness glistening against his chin and bottom lip. 

She couldn't help what she said next, "If you eat pussy as well as you eat that watermelon, then I'm baffled as to why you appear to be single." 

Severus almost choked on the fruit. His reaction made her chuckle. 

"I'm sorry!" She said as he coughed, "I don't think I've ever been aroused watching someone eat watermelon." 

He thought to himself, _She's aroused?_ And, in an effort to keep up with the conversation teased, "You should see me eat a peach."

He suppressed a grin when he saw her eyes widen. She fiddled with the rind in her hand and awkwardly looked back towards her home. Quickly and a bit nervously, she said "I best get home. I've got to shower and get to bed. I'm toast. Work has been gruelling. Have a good evening, Severus."

Watching her as he walked into her house, he allowed himself to think, for a second, what it'd be like to have her on the floor of his porch, to have peeled her tight bike shorts off, to eat her like a plum or a peach or a melon. To have _her_ sweet stickiness against his chin. 

He didn't know when she did it but, at some point over the next several days, she left a container of local peaches on his back steps. At least, he assumed they were from her. Who else would have left him peaches?

— 

Severus spotted Tonks sitting on her back porch one evening. He'd been inside most of the day, and, in a sense, avoiding her; he had decided he was going to ask her over for wine and dessert. Their conversations made him, well, happy; the banter, the snarkiness back and forth, the light joking of sexual innuendos, all of it was so enjoyable to him. He wanted to see more of her and share a conversation that wasn’t just them standing in their yards. He didn’t want to invite her over for dinner--the whole shebang of that felt a bit excessive. Plus, he had a nice bottle of Riesling and several peaches he had to do something with. 

She was reclined back on her glider, and he noted that her legs were propped up against the wood slats on her porch. The dress she wore had fallen up her thighs exposing a whole lot of lovely skin. 

As he readied himself to call over to her, he cleared his throat and chickened out, turning his attention to his tomato plants, plucking off red spider mites and flicking them elsewhere. Fortunately for him, she noticed him as well, and called out, “Oi! Neighbour!”

He turned his head towards her, suppressing his smile. She held up a hand and motioned with it for him to come over to her. He paused and wasn’t sure how to proceed. He held up a finger towards her and quickly walked inside.

She wondered why he'd left her hanging and was pleasantly surprised to see him walking over with a ceramic dish and a bottle of wine. After the week she'd had, she could use it.

"You brought wine?" She'd sat up on her glider and she motioned to the chair next to it. 

"I did. And, curiously enough, someone left a bunch of peaches on my back porch steps. I thoroughly enjoyed a few of them; they were _quite_ juicy. Wasn't sure what to do with the rest though, so I made a cobbler. It's better warm."

"Wow. Whoever left you those peaches must have known how much you love juicy fruit." A smile played at her lips. 

He laughed, a deep vibrating laugh, one that shook. "I do rather enjoy a ripe juicy piece of fruit. But, they're also very enjoyable when baked. The way the natural sweetness caramelizes with sugar. It just gushes a lovely tart sweetness. So sticky and rich and decadent." Again, enjoying the look on her face, he winked at her and motioned his head to the door, "May I put it in your oven?"

She didn't know if he meant his last question to sound so suggestive, but it had. "Uhm. Yes. Of course." She nodded to the back door, “The kitchen’s just inside there.”

She smoothed the skirt on her dress, and she was looking down at her hands when he walked back onto her porch holding two wine glasses. 

"I hope it wasn't presumptuous of me to assume you drink wine." He poured her a glass and handed it to her.

She shook her head, "No. Not at all. I do. I enjoy wine a lot. In fact, this is my favourite type of wine."

Before they knew it, the bottle was empty except for the glass Tonks was still drinking. 

She was lying back on the glider, and he was sitting in a chair by the end of the glider. Her legs were dangerously close to him. Occasionally, while they spoke she'd nudge him with her foot when he'd tease her or she'd tease him. She sat up suddenly, "I didn't get to try any of your dessert yet!" The pair were so engrossed in one another that they'd completely forgotten about it. “Go inside and get it! The silverware is in the drawer just by the oven.”

Severus was a bit buzzed, not drunk, just light and oddly happy. He normally didn't drink more than a glass of wine or a small splash of liquor very often, and so, instead of looking for plates, too, he simply grabbed one spoon and the cobbler. Walking back onto the porch, he handed her the spoon and the dish. Sitting up, she dipped the spoon into the still warm dessert. She could smell the brown sugar and the butter of the crust, she raised her eyebrows at him as she opened her mouth and took a bite of his dessert. 

He preened when her eyelids fluttered shut and she let out a soft moan of approval. The peaches were perfect. Every time she chewed a burst of delightful flavour escaped into her mouth. She took a sip of wine before she spoke. "Ohhhh. Severus." 

He felt his abdomen tingle at the way she said his name. "So, it's satisfactory, then?" 

She nodded and took another big bite. She leaned back in her seat, "I can't get over this. You have to have a taste." 

"I don't want any. I made it for you, anyhow." He confessed.

"Well…" she smiled, "as it's mine, I insist you have a bite. She stood up from where she sat, cobbler dish in one hand, spoon in the other. She stood in front of him, and she scooped up some of the dessert. She took it, putting it in her mouth, and letting her lips close slowly over the metal. Again, she couldn't help but shut her eyes in appreciation for the taste of the dish. 

As she pulled the spoon out of her mouth, he watched with rapt attention noticing the shape and colour of her lips for the hundredth time that evening. She smiled softly at him and handed him the spoon; he took it from her and dipped it in—a small bite, a sliver of peach. Instead of eating it himself, he held it up towards her beckoning her to bend down and take it into her mouth. Their eyes met and she felt her heart rate quicken—she could hear beating in her ears. 

She bent down towards him and opened her mouth slightly. She licked her lips and said, "I want you to have a taste of it." 

He smiled wickedly, "I will."

She let him feed her the peach, and she let her lips suck on the spoon as he pulled it from her mouth. His free hand found purchase on her hip and he urged her towards him, as she swallowed. She bent down, their faces nearer now. "When?"

He raised an eyebrow questioningly, but his response was certain, "Now."

She leaned into him and pressed her lips to his. He smelled of cedar and tasted of wine. She pulled away to set down the things in her hands. Settling back between his legs he kissed her this time and her hands fell onto his shoulders. One hand still on her hip and the other on her waist, he pulled her onto his lap. Parting her lips, he slid his tongue into her mouth, tasting the sweetness of her. 

It wasn't long before his hands were on her thighs, sliding up her dress and toying with the hem of her satin undergarments. Tonks stood up and slid them off, stepping out of them and climbing back onto his lap. She let the straps of her dress fall exposing her chest. 

Severus felt an extreme tightness in his trousers and didn't stop to think too much about what was happening or why or how. He let a hand rest on her ribs below her exposed breast. She took his hand, pushing it up—urging him to touch her. He did, cupping her warm and heavy breast in his hand and rolling the nipple beneath his fingers. She let out a low moan and let her mouth find his again.

Positioning her legs, she let them fall apart, again, inviting him and urging him to touch her. He wasn't hesitant in his want to touch her, he simply had to be sure she wanted it. He found himself dismayed, but elated, with the way the events unfolded. He’d been in relationships before, but it had been some time. Not to mention, he had a good ten years on Tonks. He was also often grouchy and stuck-in his ways, but she seemed to genuinely like him. She always approached him in their yards and she always seemed so pleased to see him and speak with him. 

As she squirmed against him, sliding her legs so his hands fell further towards her sex, he pulled her closer to him as they kissed and allowed for his hand to slid up her thigh and to her centre where he found her to be warm and wanting. 

The pads of two of his fingers gently and lightly caressed her clit before he dipped them inside her. She was vocal and encouraged his quickened pace inside her. He admired her with rapt attention as she came onto his hand. Slowly he slid his hand out from beneath the skirt of her dress and he brought his fingers, sticky with her orgasm, to his mouth, tasting her. It was then his turn to shut his eyes, and she felt her abdomen pulse with desire as he groaned at her taste—just as she'd done when she ate his dessert.

"Get up and lie back on the glider. I want you to come in my mouth." 

She shook her head no, "You can do that later. I want to feel that cock of yours."

He quirked an eyebrow at her and let the word _later_ roll over in his mind. Getting off of his lap she squeezed his erection through his trousers. She sank down on her knees, working his zipper, and releasing his cock. It was thick and lovely. She leaned forward and licked the tip. "Mmmmm. Your good squash plant takes after you, I see." She smiled with a wink and felt him shake with laughter as she took him into her mouth. She bobbed up and down a few times before sucking at the tip, listening as his laugh turned into a deep moan. Letting his cock pop out of her mouth, he groaned as she ran her tongue from the base of his cock to the tip. 

She stood up and straddled him, her wet sex pressing against the head of his cock. "I desperately want you. But I want you later, too. I want you to fuck me on the floor. I want you to bend me over my glider and fuck me hard. I want you to take me next to your garden, slowly and gently as so no one will notice us. Is that alright?" 

"You're a bit bossy aren't you?" He smiled and pressed himself up onto her, entering her slowly. 

She shook her head with a moan, "No, no. I just know what I want." 

He thrust quickly up into her, "This? Is this what you want?" 

She took in a sharp breath and he pressed himself up inside her. She'd intended to fuck him; to ride him, to make him hers, but she was folding against him, her body racing to the ledge. 

She nodded and whispered, "Yes. Gods, yes. This is." 

He wrapped an arm around her waist and fucked her eagerly until she came, his orgasm following shortly after. She sat upon him for a while before reaching over to the table next to them and digging the spoon into the cobbler and taking a large bite with a groan of satisfaction. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
